I feel like this went nowhere in a sense. I still feel an emptiness inside but I suppose I received my answers. All I can do is leave everything as it is because there’s nothing else I can do to fix my minor predicaments about the situation. You can’t always make people understand you.

"Keep moving forward and never look back" is what they tell me. And I did. But then I swallowed my pride and went against my gut to relieve this weight that has been built over time off of my shoulders. When I go against my gut, there’s always consequences. Always. But I’d be more content knowing all the answers and be burned by the truth rather than abandoned in the cold with lies. Any day. I dislike dishonesty. But… no one is the same. Some of us are honest. Some of us aren’t. Some of us are caring. Some of us aren’t. I’ve come to accept the fact that sometimes you don’t get treated the same way you treat the other person at the end of the day. All you have to do is let things be and act in a respectful manner… Because life goes on. And you know what they say, you have to go through a couple bad guys to get to the good one. I’ll live by that. We will all get someone we deserve within time.

Don’t know what it is about these 2 photos but I oddly find them to be… beautiful…tragically beautiful. They speak to me a lot somehow. Don’t know what it is. But it’s like whoever drew these just knows what it was like.

I just need some weed or a good couple hours at the gym. I know those two things are really opposite of each other but they both relieve my stress equally. But I get bitched at for stepping out of the house so… What now? Can’t even relieve stress without coming back to be stressed again.

I am in love with the thought of being in love. When I fall, I fall hard. And when I say I’ll ride for you, I will. If I said I’ll take care of you, I will. I stick to my words, unlike many people. I don’t want to do it again. But I know it’s because I’m scared.
Or is it because I know no one deserves my big heart?
So, back to this independent life.
This is how I’m liking it.

People leave the good in search of finding something better. But sometimes they are out of luck and find something somewhat worse. They are searching for what they already had right in front of them without even realizing. But it’s too late to reverse anything. People take things for granted way too much. You always want what you can’t have. 

I think I had way too much fun last week. All I did was hang out with my guy friends and get messed up everyday. I really let myself go last week. But I kind of needed it. I needed to not give a fuck for a bit and just simply have fun. That’s the only time I get to distract my thoughts and feelings even though it isn’t the healthy way. All I know is, I had a good time forgetting about everything. But unfortunately, I am coming to the realization that you can’t run away from your problems. It’ll only come back to screw you up.